Bitter-Sweet

Today marked our last training ride for the QMDC. What an amazing 20 weeks I have gone through. I have felt so many emotions , especially in these past couple of weeks.  I signed up on to win my spot on the QMDC, on a whim. From the start I had hoped (along with everyone else) I want to be the one they pick, I WANT TO WIN! To my surprise I have made it to the final two. Mike Henderson, a person who is so wonderful is also standing with me. Over the next few days the winner of the Scott and BR Show, winner will be announced. I may or may not go. I am prepared to go. Something I have learned in the Navy is better to be ready and not do something, then not be ready and have to do something. If I do not win, I will be okay, I will be disappointed but the judges are the one who picks the one who they feel deserves this the most. What a hard decision they have to make. I would hate to be in their shoes. I have the time off work and am willing to do support on the ride too. 

Taking part in the training could not have come at a better time in my life... I had been struggling for sometime prior to the start of that first training ride on June 8Th.  My health was not good. I was told I was no longer able to run, for I will further damage my back and hips. Running had been my therapy, I was just getting into doing local races, trying to participate in one a month. I was trying to get things in order to secure a job, for I was having to leave the military because of my health problems. The Navy had been all I had known for 8 years. How would I adjust. What would I do for work? I was so lost and stressed. 

Right from the start I was open with my group about my health issues, and everybody was still welcoming towards me. I have a hard time meeting new people let alone, letting them into my bubble. I have had too many times in the past where people say if you never need any help don't hesitate to call, and the times I call they are not there. Its frustrating and hard. Who wants to put up with someone who doesn't feel good every day. I get tired of hearing myself say that I don't feel good. Having to cancel plans last minute or go home early. Its hard. And the people I do have in my life that are there for me they are a blessing.  But Group 4 and mostly everyone else has been wonderful towards me. 

I rode with Group 4, for the training. With Hooter and Diane as my ride leaders. And I thank Hooter for his "Nina, we have to talk..." Group 4 showed me that it was okay to stop and not ride when I needed to. Just to rest and on the way back if I am feeling better, I can get back on the bike. One ride where I was in tears, from being in so much pain. And how everyone was concerned, day following text messages, phone calls, and emails, of my group making sure I am okay. Before, I would torture my body, I would not stop. I would push through the pain and end up unable to walk for a few days following. I felt that my body was failing me, and I was not going to let it. I whole hearted thank Group 4... Hooter, Diane, Julie, Dr. Bob, Julie S, Jack, Sandy, Francesca, Cindy, Terri, Tina(Sag-a-licious), Brent, Carma, and I know I am probably missing a couple of names. Thank you all. I could not have gone through this without you all. You all are amazing people and I have enjoyed every mile spent with you all. I hope that down the road, we all can get together and ride. 

Learning about the CAF, is one thing, but I was able to see what it can do for people. And I love talking about riding my bike and what I have been doing. Even though I did not raise $10,000 for myself to secure my spot, if I do not get the winning spot. Helping others raise their money, was what I thought was the best for me during this time period. I love helping anyway I can. Because every little bit helps.  Shortly after we started training, I got a message on myspace from a guy who lost both legs and his right arm in a car accident. He was looking to moving out here to San Diego, and he just asked me a simple question of "Do you know any amputee athletes?" Without hesitation I messaged him right back and told him what I was doing and that I will help out anyway possible.  The following Sunday, I was talking to Steve a radio contestant, and told him about the myspace message. He said you need to tell Jeffery. We went to Jeffery, Steve introduced me to him and I told Jeffery about the message. I was given contact info to pass on. As soon as I got home I messaged the guy and passed the info on. I have not heard from him for some time. I do message him to see how he is. He was having problems finding suitable housing for him to rent out here. I hope that everything works out so that he is able to move out here and do what he loves to do, play sports.  Spreading the word of the CAF, and showing someone where they can look to get the information is so rewarding. Just telling someone that there is an organization out there that is willing to help someone do what they love to do. What better thing to witness the glimmer of hope that shows in their eyes that they are going to have a second chance at doing what they love. 

I don't know how the next few days are going to play out for the final two radio contestants, but I will give you all an update when I hear something. Thank you all for your support throughout the whole experience, its something that will last with me for my lifetime.