You might be a cyclist if....

 1. You tell a family of 5 in a crowded mall to "hold their line."
 2. Your spouse says "If you buy another bike I'm going to leave you" and you think "I guess I'm                       going to miss him/her."
 3. You have more water bottles than you have drinking glasses.
 4. You have more cycling jerseys than work shirts.
 5. Your cycling jersey IS your work shirt.
 6. Your legs are smoother than your wifes.
 7. The nicest pair of shoes you own have cleats in the soles.
 8. You have defined the 8 stages of roadkill decomposition through daily observation.
 9. You are walking along a street and you signal left.
 10.You go to your local store on a bike.
 11.You sulk when in cars, on hot days.
 12.You sulk when in cars, on cold, windy, snowy days.
 13.You get withdrawal symptoms if off the bike for more than a day.
 14.When anybody mentions distance you immediately think of how long it would take to cycle it.
 15.You point at pot holes, but you are driving in your car alone.
 16.While driving your car you yell at your passenger "Car back" as a vehicle approaches from                     behind.
 17. Your bike is worth more than your car.
 18. You put more miles on your bike than your car.
 19. Your hands have a strange tan that looks remarkably similar to the pattern on your cycling gloves.
 20. Weather forecasts can be broken down into 2 categories: good biking weather, bad biking weather.
 21. You put your bicycle in your car, and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better).
 22. You find out you are going to have a child and the first thing you think about is how you will schedule your rides to avoid divorce and still be a parent.
 23. You spend 2X the money on cycling wear that you do work clothes.
 24. You can tell your wife with a straight face that it's too hot to mow the lawn, then bike off for a century.
 25. You dream of winning the lottery and the first thing you think of is how many/which bikes can I buy?
 26. You buy a car based on whether or not a bike will fit in the trunk/back, with the rear seat folded down.
 27. You open your car window and yell out "On your left" when passing cars on the freeway.
 28. You have not one, not two, but three permanent chain ring scars on your right calf.
 29. Your bike sleeps with you in the living or bedroom.
 30. You wear a heart rate monitor during sex.
 31. You check out all other guys/girls legs to see if they are better than yours.
 32. Your spouse can't take it anymore and takes up cycling.
 33. You wonder why a $500 bike has 24 gear ratios, while a $20,000 car or truck only has 4.
 34. You crash...and insist on getting to the bike shop to have your bike checked out BEFORE going to the hospital.
 35. You can't seem to get to work before 8:30am, but you don't have a problem meeting your buddies at 5:30 am for a ride.